I must confess that I just spent at least an hour contemplating what to title this blog of mine. I wanted it to be so creative, although if you know me, I am probably one of the least creative people on the planet. As I was pondering this obvious extremely important matter, the verse Proverbs 3: 5-6 continued to pop into my head...
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
This is my favorite verse of all time. Most of yall may know that I went to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip over spring break. (Shout out to my AMAZING DR team) After I experienced the most amazing trip of my life and was able to see God in so many different ways, this verse became even more relevant and important to me. I am going to be honest, trusting and submitting to the Lord has proven to be very difficult yet SO rewarding. A lot of yall may already know this, but I was planning on attending law school in the Fall. While in the Dominican Republic, the Lord revealed that I was relying on my own understanding and did not consult Him when I chose to attend law school. He gave me a little reality check and made it apparent that it was not my time to go to law school, but instead, He wanted to use me in a different country. WHOA! I was so excited and ready to embark on this journey when I got back from the DR. Here is where it gets real....
When I got back from the Dominican Republic, I inevitably conformed back to my previous habits. I got used to my comforts again and lived my life just the way I had before I left for the Dominican Republic. I still longed to pursue the Lord's will and teach/be a missionary in a different country, but things were not coming together the way I (emphasis on the "I") wanted them to. I finally gave it all up to God, and the most amazing opportunity fell into my lap. My Aunt Rhonda and Uncle Matt revealed an awesome opportunity to teach and do mission work in Honduras. I called the organization, and it was EVERYTHING I felt the Lord had called me to do! I was so ecstatic! In fact, I ran into my apartment, hugged my roommates, and basically danced around the house with excitement. I called everyone to tell them the great news! I was on cloud nine.
I hate to admit this, but recently, I started to get anxious about my big move. I guess that is normal, but I honestly started to turn my heart away from the Lord. I questioned Him on why he wanted ME, such an unworthy person, to relinquish all of my comforts, friends, and family to move to Honduras. Honestly, I was a little frustrated with Him and turned my back to Him like a rebellious child. I chose to ignore my trust in Him and started to do things my way again. Let's just say... that didn't work out very well. I stopped consulting Him in everything I did, and suddenly, I wanted to stay in America and go to law school again. My friends and parents probably thought I was crazy as I called all of them basically "freaking out." (I love yall so much by the way!) Finally, I broke down yet again (obviously a reoccurring theme) and gave everything up to the Lord. He revealed that I still need to do His work in Honduras, and that He will take care of me throughout the whole process. I immediately turned to the verse, Proverbs 3:5-6. I need to surrender all that I am to Him, and He promises that He will make my paths straight. The truth in this verse has never been so apparent!
It still hurts my heart to know that I will be leaving THE BEST family and friends behind in two months. I cannot emphasize enough how amazing they are. I am extremely blessed to have them in my life. They are the most supportive and encouraging people in the world. Tears are filling my eyes as I write this part, because I love yall more than yall know.
I am still humbled by the fact that the Lord has trusted me with such an amazing opportunity. I am a broken, unworthy person, but I fully trust that He will guide me as I embark on this incredible journey. I cannot wait to meet everyone in Honduras! Here we go....
